Kettleslug's Profile

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User since Dec 2017

10 Ratings

10 Reviews

KettleSlug's...

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I think sleeves need to be broken in with 5-10 uses before you can get an accurate feel of the texture.

Found 10 reviews in total

Intensity 1.9
Stimulation 1.85
Penetration 1.9
Tightness 3.75
Suction Effect 2.45
Realism 3.5
Variation 1.65
Smoothness 4.55
Orgasm Rating 2.8
Noise 4.9
Lube Use 3.7
Cleanup 4.6
Dry Time 2.5

Texas Tornado Review

December 14th, 2020 (Texas Tornado Texture)

I got this sleeve because all my others are towards the intense end of the spectrum and I wanted to try something meant to be a little more realistic. I guess it is pretty close in terms of pure physical feeling, but because you're lacking all of the things that make sex great when you're using a Fleshlight, it ends up being a bit of a boring experience. I barely use this sleeve now, but when I do it's for edging when I feel like longer sessions before finishing with another, more intense sleeve. Not my cup of tea. I personally think Fleshlights aren't anything like actual sex, so there's no point using sleeves that are supposed to be 'realistic' - pick one that feels amazing and cum your brains out instead!

Conclusion:
One of the more realistic Fleshlights. Nothing special about it. Would recommend you pick up something else.

Score 3.06 Overall Satisfaction 2.8
Intensity 4
Stimulation 5
Penetration 2.5
Tightness 2.9
Suction Effect 5
Realism 1.9
Variation 2.9
Smoothness 4.15
Orgasm Rating 5
Noise 1.05
Lube Use 2.55
Cleanup 4
Dry Time 3.95

Thrust Review

December 14th, 2020 (Thrust Texture)

This is one of my favourite sleeves. This is definitely a sleeve that is hot or cold - for some people, it doesn't do anything. For people like me though, this is the best blowjob sleeve I've ever tried. It doesn't feel anything like an actual blowjob does (not even close) and the two rings at the opening can be a bit difficult to enter when lubed up. Once you're in though, this sleeves sucks on your cock like its desperate for your cum. The suction is strong, and the noises this thing makes really sounds like someone is sucking and slurping on your dong. It's loud, so maybe don't use it if there are other people home.

Top tip: use loads of lube with this thing. You want your cock, balls, and entire crotch soaked with lube to best replicate the sloppy deepthroat experience. I'll usually lube myself up, lube the inside of the sleeve up, and pour lube down the end of the sleeve when I'm inside.

This isn't meant to be an intense sleeve, but I have difficulty lasting more than 5 minutes in this thing.

Conclusion:
My current favourite sleeve. Not everyone's cup of tea, but if you have a thing for sloppy deepthroat and don't mind an unrealistic experience, this is the sleeve for you.

Score 3.56 Overall Satisfaction 5
Intensity 1.55
Stimulation 1.45
Penetration 1.6
Tightness 2.8
Suction Effect 0
Realism 0.15
Variation 0.95
Smoothness 1.85
Orgasm Rating 2.1
Noise 1.1
Lube Use 4.7
Cleanup 4.85
Dry Time 4.95

Vantage Review

December 26th, 2017 (Vantage Texture)

This is the better of the two quickshots. It's still nothing compared to the other portable textures (Flight and GO) due to the lack of suction and short length, but it offers some extra stimulation compared to a hand. Like the other quickshot, there isn't much point in getting this unless cleanup and small size are something that matter a lot.

Conclusion:
Get the Flight or Go unless you need something really small and discreet.

Score 2.26 Overall Satisfaction 1.35
Intensity 0.8
Stimulation 1.1
Penetration 0.8
Tightness 2.8
Suction Effect 0
Realism 0.15
Variation 1.15
Smoothness 2.9
Orgasm Rating 1.85
Noise 0.85
Lube Use 4.7
Cleanup 4.85
Dry Time 4.9

Boost Review

December 26th, 2017 (Boost Texture)

My girlfriend got me this as a present and it's pretty terrible. It's a little better than a hand, but not by much. There's really no point in getting this unless you're desperate for something easy to clean and hide, but even then it isn't worth the money. Doesn't feel that great and the orgasm is only a bit more intense than a hand, if even that.

Conclusion:
Don't bother with this, either get one of the FLights or GO models instead.

Score 2.12 Overall Satisfaction 0.75
Intensity 4.45
Stimulation 4.8
Penetration 4.35
Tightness 3.85
Suction Effect 3.35
Realism 0
Variation 2.05
Smoothness 4.95
Orgasm Rating 4.85
Noise 4.3
Lube Use 2.85
Cleanup 2.8
Dry Time 3.4

Punk-Charmer Review

December 21st, 2017 (Punk-Charmer Texture)

This might be my favourite sleeve. I didn't expect it to feel anywhere near as good as it does. It's the perfect combination of smoothness and stimulation: it feels absolutely amazing, but it's not so intense your dick goes numb during long sessions. Edging with this is a challenge, if you're not careful you'll blow your load in a minute. It's not a very varied sleeve so it's perfect for shorter guys. It exceeded all my expectations, I'd recommend this to anyone looking for an anal sleeve.

Conclusion:
One of the best sleeves out there, the cascading ribs are really intense and lead to a mind-blowing finish.

Score 3.91 Overall Satisfaction 4.85
Intensity 4.35
Stimulation 4.8
Penetration 4.15
Tightness 3.45
Suction Effect 3.35
Realism 1.95
Variation 3.7
Smoothness 2.6
Orgasm Rating 4.45
Noise 3.7
Lube Use 2.95
Cleanup 3.1
Dry Time 2.6

Destroya Review

December 21st, 2017 (Destroya Texture)

I have the new version of the sleeve with the less aggressive spines, but it still feels amazing. The spines are extremely stimulating, which when coupled with the variation of the sleeve results in a quick orgasm. You can feel the spines hugging your dick and unbending as you pull out, which makes it feel like the sleeve is reluctant to let go. The actual orgasm is really intense and gets vocalizations out of me very time.

Conclusion:
It's still a really intense sleeve after being remodeled, would still recommend to anyone looking for a very stimulating texture.

Score 3.53 Overall Satisfaction 4.25
Intensity 4.4
Stimulation 4.3
Penetration 5
Tightness 4.6
Suction Effect 3.05
Realism 0
Variation 3.9
Smoothness 2.55
Orgasm Rating 4.4
Noise 4.35
Lube Use 3.4
Cleanup 3.3
Dry Time 3.9

Reign Review

December 21st, 2017 (Reign Texture)

The story of this sleeve is the thatched texture at the opening. The rest of the sleeve is great too, but what makes it are those opening inches. It feels nothing short of amazing on your dick, and is something every man should try before they die. The texture is really tight and serves to clamp the thatched entrance around your cock for maximum stimulation. The finish itself is amazing, makes me moan every single time.

Conclusion:
One of the best anal sleeves, the thatched texture makes your orgasm really intense.

Score 3.98 Overall Satisfaction 4.65
Intensity 2.85
Stimulation 3.15
Penetration 2.8
Tightness 3.85
Suction Effect 5
Realism 0.7
Variation 3.4
Smoothness 2.7
Orgasm Rating 3.15
Noise 2.55
Lube Use 3.35
Cleanup 3.65
Dry Time 3.6

Pilot Review

December 21st, 2017 (Pilot Texture)

It's a pretty decent texture. Really good for people looking for something discreet/want to bring it with them when travelling. The most noteworthy part of the sleeve is its suction, it really feels like it's sucking on your cock for all its worth. Material is stickier than the FLG material, but it's not really a problem for me.

Conclusion:
It's a great Fleshlight for people with smaller dicks, or looking for something discreet/travel friendly.

Score 3.15 Overall Satisfaction 3.35
Intensity 5
Stimulation 5
Penetration 3.5
Tightness 4.2
Suction Effect 2.5
Realism 2
Variation 2
Smoothness 1.95
Orgasm Rating 5
Noise 4
Lube Use 2.6
Cleanup 1
Dry Time 1

Obsession-Bliss Review

December 21st, 2017 (Obsession-Bliss Texture)

This sleeve has many drawbacks. It takes forever to clean, forever to dry, and is generally unsuited to long sessions (if you have the stamina to last) because it makes me go numb. However, I keep coming back to the sleeve because I've never felt anything more intense. Less than one minute of thrusting is all I need to finish with it. The spines make the sleeve really tight and the way they rub over the head of my dick feels amazing. This is a sleeve everyone should buy, just to experience it's intensity.

Conclusion:
The definition of pure intensity. Guaranteed the hardest orgasm of your life.

Score 3.13 Overall Satisfaction 4
3
Intensity 2.3
Stimulation 3.65
Penetration 3.35
Tightness 2.55
Suction Effect 2.8
Realism 0.9
Variation 2.8
Smoothness 3.7
Orgasm Rating 3.8
Noise 4.85
Lube Use 3.9
Cleanup 4.85
Dry Time 3.9

Goddess Review

December 21st, 2017 (Goddess Texture)

I'm 5.0 inches long (not really sure about girth) and this is a pretty solid sleeve. It's not that intense, so it's really good for edging and longer sessions. The bumps feel really unique and give you a great sense of "something in the way" as you slide in and out without interfering with the smooothness. Generates intense orgasms for me, would definitely recommend anyone looking for a well-balanced sleeve.

Conclusion:
Great middle-of-the-road sleeve, doesn't do anything particularly amazing, but gives a great orgasm.

Score 3.35 Overall Satisfaction 3.5
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