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critic

User since Aug 2017

About Me

Relatively new to this whole Fleshlight business. Despite being new, I pride myself on noticing details about these products that others may overlook, and dispelling some myths here and there.

Found 14 reviews in total

Intensity 3.5
Stimulation 4.1
Penetration 2.7
Tightness 2.35
Suction Effect 4.25
Realism 3.6
Variation 2.45
Smoothness 2.75
Orgasm Rating 3.95
Noise 2.6
Lube Use 3.85
Cleanup 3.7
Dry Time 4.15

Swallow Review

December 25th, 2017 (Swallow Texture)

I wanted this sleeve for a while because I had the SIAC Mini version, but found it to be just a tad on the tight side. I put off buying this full size version for a while but made the purchase because I'm fairly certain it's going to be discontinued soon.

Not much is different from this in regards to my Mini Swallow review. The ribbed portion is the main attraction here and creates a surprising amount of intensity, and the narrow end creates an interesting sensation. Despite the fact that I can barely reach the narrow part, I like this full size version better than the mini version, mostly because the tightness isn't incredibly high, so it feels a bit more like a blowjob in that regard.

Conclusion:
A must have for any collection, however, that may soon be impossible.

Score 3.46 Overall Satisfaction 4.5
1
Intensity 3.85
Stimulation 4
Penetration 4.5
Tightness 4.9
Suction Effect 2.2
Realism 2.5
Variation 3.9
Smoothness 2.1
Orgasm Rating 3.95
Noise 2.65
Lube Use 2.25
Cleanup 2.5
Dry Time 1.75

Heavenly Review

December 10th, 2017 (Heavenly Texture)

I got this sleeve for free as a result of an error on ILF's part. It was supposed to be a Mini Lotus, so the version of Heavenly that I have is a Pink Lady variant. The main selling point of this texture is tightness, and it is one of the tightest options available (if not the absolute tightest). The texture itself is relatively simple looking and doesn't seem to indicate it would be intense, but this is wrong. The tightness of the sleeve causes the texture to be amplified by great deal, so the sensations are quite strong. The suction is almost nonexistent because of the tightness but that isn't necessarily a bad thing if it's what you're in the mood for. What the tightness causes that is unpleasant is the dry time, since barely any air can flow through it takes quite a while.

Conclusion:
If you want something tight, this should be the first pick.

Score 3.21 Overall Satisfaction 3.9
Intensity 2.4
Stimulation 3.4
Penetration 2.65
Tightness 3
Suction Effect 3.9
Realism 4.75
Variation 1.65
Smoothness 4.7
Orgasm Rating 3.5
Noise 4.75
Lube Use 2.5
Cleanup 2.6
Dry Time 3.5

Texas Tornado Review

December 9th, 2017 (Texas Tornado Texture)

I wanted this texture because I heard many people claim that out of all of the textures ILF has created so far, this is the one that feels closest to a vagina, which took me off guard considering the Lotus and Mini Lotus were meant to do just that. Not to mention the inside of this thing hardly looks anatomically correct. But my curiosity got the better of me and I bought it. One thing to note is that I got this sleeve in the Build Your Own section as a pink sleeve with a generic Lady orifice. The reason I did this was because the FLG version has an anal entrance, which seems counter intuitive on a sleeve that supposedly feels like a vagina. After using it I was taken aback by how organic it feels. The thick spiraling ridges give it a very meaty feel and the small divots placed throughout make it feel like it's pulsing and contracting the whole time, which is what makes this sleeve feel so real. Because it doesn't feel so heavily textured during use, the intensity is relatively low. It somehow manages to feel both tight and relaxed at the same time, which is unusual but not unpleasant. My only complaint is that it seems to require a bit more lube than most other textures. I would assume this is because a lot of it goes in between those deep ridges. Cleanup also takes a bit of care, again, because of the ridges.

Conclusion:
I would definitely recommend this sleeve for those who want realism from their Fleshlight. It's also great for those who want a gentle sleeve for longer sessions. The best thing you could do with this is get the Pink Lady version because it does feel most similar to a vagina, and should look as such.

Score 3.41 Overall Satisfaction 4.45
Intensity 2.6
Stimulation 3.9
Penetration 2.6
Tightness 2.25
Suction Effect 3.9
Realism 2.45
Variation 3.2
Smoothness 2.15
Orgasm Rating 3.45
Noise 4.1
Lube Use 4
Cleanup 4.35
Dry Time 4.95

Attack-Revel Review

December 9th, 2017 (Attack-Revel Texture)

I got this texture because it intrigued me. I saw it and couldn't tell if it would feel intense because of it's bumpy texture or be gentle because of the wide diameter and relative simplicity. I decided to buy it to find out. The first part of this sleeve is what feels the most interesting. The tight constriction in the beginning can be felt going closer to the base of the shaft while you go deeper into the wide main chamber. When pulling out, you can feel it pop off the head which is probably my favorite part of using this sleeve.The texture itself isn't felt so strongly because of the wide diameter, and also because of the comparatively high suction this sleeve creates. I can't determine the quality of the last portion of the sleeve, because I'm just ever so slightly below six inches in length, but since that's about average for most guys, most men won't be able to either. The wide diameter and simple design make cleanup easy, which is always a plus.

Conclusion:
This sleeve was obviously designed for larger men, with it's wide diameter and interesting looking bits placed near the end, but I still think average length guys will enjoy it as well if they're looking for something that isn't terribly intense.

Score 3.40 Overall Satisfaction 3.7
Intensity 2.15
Stimulation 3.6
Penetration 2.95
Tightness 3.5
Suction Effect 2.2
Realism 3.6
Variation 1.7
Smoothness 3.9
Orgasm Rating 3.7
Noise 4
Lube Use 3.9
Cleanup 3.35
Dry Time 3.9

Bookworm Review

December 9th, 2017 (Bookworm Texture)

I bought this texture because after my first two purchases I noticed I had a distinct lack of sleeves that were on the gentle side. I do like intensity but I still felt like my collection deserved some variety so I got this one. I've had it for quite some time now and I do feel like it's frequently overlooked by most. The simple design is perfect for men of any size, while still being interesting enough to feel good. The winding canal creates a sense of alternating pressure, while the light ridges and interspersed bumps gently massage you. The fact that there aren't any deep nooks or crevices mean cleanup is easy, which is always great. the only thing about this sleeve that I feel deserves some warning is that it doesn't feel as tight as it looks, so smaller guys might think it feels too loose, while larger guys should know it won't be too tight for them.

Conclusion:
An excellent choice for anyone looking for a texture that allows for a long session.

Score 3.34 Overall Satisfaction 4.35
Intensity 3.15
Stimulation 4.5
Penetration 3.7
Tightness 2.6
Suction Effect 4.25
Realism 3.65
Variation 2.95
Smoothness 1.9
Orgasm Rating 4.45
Noise 0.4
Lube Use 3.85
Cleanup 2.7
Dry Time 2.65

Thrust Review

December 7th, 2017 (Thrust Texture)

I bought the Turbo Thrust mostly out of curiosity. They advertise that it's supposed to feel like a blowjob because of the triple entry point design which is supposed to feel like lips and a tongue. I can say from experience that it doesn't feel exactly like a real mouth, I doubt anything will in the near future. But that doesn't mean it isn't close to the real thing, and that it doesn't feel good. Using this thing is a treat. The first two rings feel very gentle and are fun to play with on their own. The texture itself is relatively mild, so you can go for a good while in this thing, but not terribly long. Another thing to consider in regards to it's realism has to do with the case, which ILF never mentioned themselves, and most people don't seem to notice. As most people know, a Fleshlight case's end cap can be tightened or loosened to change the amount of suction. On a standard case, trying to turn the end cap as tight as possible will eventually cause to snap back to a completely open position, however, on a Turbo case the end cap doesn't do that. You can get a completely airtight seal which leads to amazing suction, which is fitting for something meant to replicate a blowjob. My only complaint is the noise. I usually don't bring it up but with the Turbo it could really be a problem. The high suction with a wide entrance causes the sleeve to make very loud slurping noises, fitting I suppose. If you live with other people and need your flight to be silent, this may not be the best choice for you.

Conclusion:
A great blowjob sleeve for those who love oral because of the high realism factor, however, the loud slurping noises may be a deal breaker for those who don't get the house to themselves very often.

Score 3.24 Overall Satisfaction 4.6
Intensity 4.2
Stimulation 3.85
Penetration 3.35
Tightness 3.5
Suction Effect 2.95
Realism 1.6
Variation 1.65
Smoothness 1.25
Orgasm Rating 3.85
Noise 3.65
Lube Use 2.65
Cleanup 2.2
Dry Time 2.9

STU Review

December 7th, 2017 (STU Texture)

I got the STU as a free mystery sleeve during the last Valentines Day sale. Interestingly enough, it came with a butt orifice, which I have never seen offered before, and can't find anywhere on the store now. ILF advertises that the STU is supposed to help increase sexual stamina because of how intense it is. After using it, I can certainly agree that it is intense, but in a more simple way than some sleeves. The best intense sleeves create intensity by having varied textures and tightness, whereas the STU is uniform throughout, which is good for shorter guys since they won't be missing anything a more well endowed man would feel, and gets it's intensity through the rough feeling texture. As for the whole "stamina training" bit, it's just an advertising gimmick, any intense sleeve could help you build stamina, so don't buy this one on that pretense alone.

Conclusion:
If you want intensity, don't just go for this one by default because of the advertising. If you like rough sensations and uniform sleeves, this one is perfect for you.

Score 2.99 Overall Satisfaction 4.2
Intensity 3.5
Stimulation 3.75
Penetration 3
Tightness 4.5
Suction Effect 4.7
Realism 3.45
Variation 3.45
Smoothness 2.5
Orgasm Rating 4.6
Noise 3.4
Lube Use 4.1
Cleanup 4.35
Dry Time 4.45

Mini-Swallow (SIAC) Review

December 7th, 2017 (Mini-Swallow (SIAC) Texture)

When I bought the Mini Swallow, I chose it over a full size Swallow sleeve from the FLG line because with the Mini version, I would be able to experience every part of the texture, namely the narrow part right at the end. This should be kept in mind when purchasing either variations of the Swallow. The SIAC line is known for being fairly tight because not only is the sleeve more narrow, but the case is smaller as well, which allows less room for the sleeve to expand. The Mini Swallow isn't much narrower than it's full size counterpart, but it still feels very tight because of the case. I don't have a full size Swallow to compare to, unfortunately. The part of the texture you'll feel the most of is the ribbed portion, which is surprisingly intense. the narrow end also leaves a strong feeling on the head because of how strongly it grips you. To top it all off, the suction effect is incredibly strong, stronger than any other sleeve in my collection, in fact. Despite how great it feels, cleanup is a breeze.

Conclusion:
This sleeve can best be described as "simple yet effective." If you're on the larger side, want less tightness, or don't mind missing out on the narrow portion, go for the full size version instead.

Score 3.86 Overall Satisfaction 4.25
Intensity 1.65
Stimulation 2.45
Penetration 1.9
Tightness 2.45
Suction Effect 3.7
Realism 1.45
Variation 3.6
Smoothness 2.5
Orgasm Rating 2.4
Noise 2.75
Lube Use 2.5
Cleanup 2.6
Dry Time 3.4

North Pole Review

December 7th, 2017 (North Pole Texture)

I got this sleeve for free as a mystery sleeve on my first order. At the time, I felt special because I got a sleeve that had long since been discontinued, and wasn't even available for purchase anymore. And then I used it, and found out why it was discontinued. It can only be described as bland because it feels completely smooth during use. This is due to both the low amount of texture and overly wide canal. I did get one good use out of this thing though. I used it to perform a sort of stress test to see how much abuse/stretching a sleeve could handle. I managed to fit my entire hand into the sleeve without it showing any signs of tearing.

Conclusion:
Aside from proving how durable a Fleshlight can be, it's a flop. Don't feel bad for missing this one.

Score 2.57 Overall Satisfaction 2.6
Intensity 2.4
Stimulation 3.6
Penetration 3.35
Tightness 3.65
Suction Effect 2.75
Realism 3.85
Variation 3.5
Smoothness 4.6
Orgasm Rating 3.2
Noise 4.4
Lube Use 3.6
Cleanup 4
Dry Time 3.6

Mini-Lotus Review

December 7th, 2017 (Mini-Lotus Texture)

The Mini Lotus is considered by some to be essential to any collection, and usually what people are told is the best thing to pick first. I was convinced by this because this was the very first sleeve I chose on my first order. And I would agree that it serves well as a first choice. Most people (myself included) always seem to be concerned about realism when they start looking into Fleshlights. The Mini Lotus is touted to be fairly realistic and one of the best selling textures ILF has to offer, so it seems like a natural choice for newcomers. The sleeve itself is about as average as they come, not to say its a bad thing, because this helps a new user figure out what they may not realize they wanted in the first place. If you like how the walls are smooth you'll know to stick with gentle sleeves, if you find yourself wishing the feeling was just a bit stronger you can get a more intense one next time, if you think it's too tight you can get a sleeve that's a bit more spacious, if you really like the tightness but still want more you can get a tighter one next time. It's a jack-of-all-trades kind of sleeve. This leads me to my only complaint, after buying a few more sleeves the Mini Lotus starts to seem a bit boring. I rarely use mine anymore in favor of my more intense sleeves, and if I do want to have a long session I usually reach for the Bookworm or Attack, whose light texturing combined with low tightness I find more appealing than smooth walls and average tighness.

Conclusion:
A good place to start and get a benchmark for what you prefer, and a quality sleeve that can hold it's own. But unless you already know what you like, purchasing this one isn't absolutely necessary.

Score 3.60 Overall Satisfaction 3.9
Intensity 4.65
Stimulation 3.85
Penetration 4.5
Tightness 4.65
Suction Effect 1.7
Realism 1.45
Variation 1.7
Smoothness 1.15
Orgasm Rating 4
Noise 1.7
Lube Use 2.6
Cleanup 0.75
Dry Time 0.45

Lotus Garden Review

December 6th, 2017 (Lotus Garden Texture)

I bought this sleeve back during the Valentines Day sale. I heard that people either love or hate this texture, so I viewed it as a risk. The main reason I took the plunge on this one was because it was (and still is) in the Collector's Corner section, meaning it is up for consideration to be discontinued. It was a calculated risk, and I sure an glad I took it. I've got 12 other sleeves in my collection, and none of them feel even remotely similar to this, which is the main reason I would recommend this sleeve. The feeling it gives is hard to describe accurately, the only words that comes to mind are "rough" and "popping." The only real downsides I can think of are lubricating it is a bit of a balancing act (too little, feels awful. Too much, doesn't give much feeling) and cleanup is a nightmare. It's the only texture I would say absolutely requires being turned inside out to clean completely, otherwise, it would up moldy.

Conclusion:
This sleeve is very hard to review just because of how unique it is. If it looks appealing to you, all I can say is try it for yourself, and you'll know what I mean.

Score 2.70 Overall Satisfaction 4.65
Intensity 4.45
Stimulation 3.6
Penetration 3.25
Tightness 3.15
Suction Effect 2.7
Realism 0.9
Variation 3.6
Smoothness 1.65
Orgasm Rating 4
Noise 3.2
Lube Use 2.65
Cleanup 2.15
Dry Time 1.95

Destroya Review

December 6th, 2017 (Destroya Texture)

I bought this sleeve on my second purchase from ILF because after discovering the Fleshlight community, I noticed that Destroya was considered by many to be one of the best sleeves available. After seeing how much it was hyped up, I had to buy one. After giving it a few uses, I wouldn't say I was disappointed, but only somewhat curious why this was considered the best. Perhaps it was because in my mind I was hoping to have an incredible mind blowing experience that would leave me walking funny, on that front, it failed to deliver. But after giving it a break for a long time and using it again for the sake of rotating my collection, I find that it isn't as average as I remember it being. The spikes give a nice tingling sensation and the sudden narrow gaps are very easily felt.

Conclusion:
This sleeve is all about perception. If you go in (ha) expecting it to be a life changing experience like some people make it out to be, you'll be let down. If you keep in mind that those statements, as well as my own, are all opinions then you certainly won't regret purchasing this texture.

Score 2.98 Overall Satisfaction 4.45
Intensity 1.5
Stimulation 0.9
Penetration 1.4
Tightness 2.95
Suction Effect 3.75
Realism 0.4
Variation 1.5
Smoothness 0.45
Orgasm Rating 2.35
Noise 4.1
Lube Use 0.25
Cleanup 1.1
Dry Time 0.7

The Fang Review

December 5th, 2017 (The Fang Texture)

Out of all the textures I've tried so far, this one has to be my least favorite.

I gave it several chances to prove itself, but every time I used it, I was only left with disappointment. The overall tightness caused by both the narrow sleeve and the smaller case cause the spikes to just squish against the sides of the sleeve itself, rather than give pointed stimulation. The density of the spikes also make lubrication difficult, as the lube can't seem to distribute evenly, this results in the sleeve feeling dry during use, which can be painful. The only way it wasn't painful was if I used so much lube that it came dripping out the sides, at which point I could barely feel any of the texture.

The overall aesthetic is nice, which is actually the reason I wanted this in the first place, but that's just about the only good thing I can say about the Succudry.

Conclusion:
Although unique and tempting, the Succudry has proven to be very disappointing.

Score 1.64 Overall Satisfaction 1.6
Intensity 4.5
Stimulation 4.5
Penetration 4.85
Tightness 3.7
Suction Effect 4.2
Realism 2.25
Variation 4.45
Smoothness 2.45
Orgasm Rating 4.6
Noise 3.6
Lube Use 3.25
Cleanup 2.65
Dry Time 2.75

Tease Review

December 5th, 2017 (Tease Texture)

Let me start off by saying that this was one of the first sleeves I bought, and it is still one of my favorites.

The texture itself is not what makes this sleeve intense, it's the variation that makes using this sleeve an absolute roller coaster. It immediately starts off intense with an extremely tight ribbed entry, then opens to a very wide chamber with gentle nubs, then gets tight again with a lotus node. Using it slowly allows you to feel each individual sensation, and after just a few short minutes of slow use, you're already close to orgasm. Despite the intensity, this sleeve is perfect for edging.

Conclusion:
If you like strong sensations and lots of variation, this sleeve is perfect for you.

Score 3.76 Overall Satisfaction 4.95
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